


What the eye cannot see

by TeddyTR



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Blindness, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:52:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeddyTR/pseuds/TeddyTR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A druid's curse, Merlin's sacrifice, and Arthur's favorite flower. Curious?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin couldn’t get used to these events. They went the same pattern every time. Uther accusing someone with sorcery, Arthur trying to make him see sense, Arthur getting kicked out of the throne room, Uther ordering a death, flame washing away lives. Merlin always felt sick, but always forced himself to watch. Out of sympathy and fear. This might happen to him one day.

It was always awful, but this time the ’evil sorcerer’ was a teenage boy. His guilt was the druid symbol on his left arm. Arthur literally went mad, running around, shouting at his father, so he spent the execution and the next two days in the cells. Merlin watched through this one too. That night, he couldn’t sleep. He lay in his bed, curled up in a tight ball. If only he hadn’t have to wait more. If only Arthur was the king. For how long can Uther get away with this? Of course, taking care of revengeful sorcerers would be Merlin’s responsibility. He sighed and wrapped his blanket around him.

***

„Arthur, please. I have a bad feeling about this.”

„And so you keep telling me, but would you be so kind and give me a reason?”

„Aren’t you just a bit suspicious about a sorcerer turning up in the middle of the courtyard, in bright daylight, make a fuss and then disappear, but kindly leaving unambiguous leads for us to follow?”

„Your conclusion, oh mighty and wise Merlin?”

„It’s a trap, you arrogant prat!”

„And?” 

„And?! For God’s sake, Camelot’s crown prince shouldn’t go around, falling intentionally into sorcerers’ traps! I’m sorry to inform you, but even you can die, you know.”

„Look, who’s talking, Mr. ’I will drink from a poisoned chalice, no problem’ and ’my life isn’t that important, let’s just sacrifice it’.”

„That’s a different thing, Arthur.”

„Is it? How?”

„Because it’s for a purpose.” That was it. Merlin regretted the words the instant he said them. When Arthur finally turned and looked at him, his eyes were filled with anger and… maybe hurt?

„A purpose?” He asked, really calm. This wasn’t a good sign.

„Let me hear it, Merlin, your all great and good purpose.”

„I’ve already told you several times…”

„Never mind, I want to hear again.”

„It’s… it’s for protecting you…”

„Because-” Arthur motioned to continue, like Merlin was a student and this was his homework.

„Because you will be a great king so you need to live,” Merlin finished quietly.

„You know, it just amuses me every time I hear it.”

„Arthur, I know you’re angry about these things, but now it’s really not the time-”

„Angry? Why should I be angry, when a clearly suicidal servant lectures me about the value of my life?”

„ And don’t come again with ’your life worth’s more than mine’ stuff, because if you do, I’ll feed you to the dogs.” He said menacingly when Merlin opened his mouth to answer.

„I-I wasn’t.”

„Of course you weren’t. Really, Merlin, how many times do I have to say: no purpose will satisfy me if it contains your death. Am I make myself clear?”

„Yes, sire. There is only one question. How should I react when you are the one who’s about to run straight into a trap, endangering yourself?” 

„I’ve got an order, Merlin. It doesn’t matter if it’s a trap or not.” Arthur sighed heavily. „The only thing my father can think about is the sorcerer’s head on today’s dining table.”

Merlin let out an annoyed huff as he stepped to the prince’s armor to make it ready to wear.

„It’s unbelievable how the king tries constantly to ruin my work,” he said under his breath.

„What?”

„Nothing.”

When Arthur was ready, Merlin gave him his sword and started to put one on his own waistband too.

„What are you doing?”

„I’m putting up a scabbard.”

„I can see that. I mean why, idiot?”

„Because I’m coming with you of course.” He looked up to meet Arthur’s eyes. They were strict and about to argue.

„Come on, how many times do we have to go through this? In the end, I always go with you. And always save your royal arse just in time.”

„You’re forgetting who am I, Merlin. I’m the number one fighter in Camelot, I can handle things without your clumsy rattling around me. Besides I’m the prince, so you come if I allow you to.”

„Then would you be so kind and allow me to ’rattle’ around you, sire?”

„Tsk, why do I even bother? You won’t listen anyway.” He punched his manservant’s shoulder.

„Let’s go.”

„Yes, sire.”

***

Merlin sat stiff on Blockhead, his horse (Arthur named it of course). He kept scanning the surroundings from the moment they stepped out of the walls of the city with the knights. He could feel something wasn’t right, like someone was watching them. The knights probably felt it too. They shifted nervously in spite of their routine in these kinds of situations. Arthur was like he turned to stone, numbly waiting for the obvious attack. This was no good. Merlin ran trough probable scripts in his head. Will he reveal his magic if it’s necessary? It was amazing in a way how, Merlin had to admit, Arthur was absolutely right about his suicidal attempts. He didn’t dare to dream that the prince would not turn him in (it was easier to wait for the worst case scenario, so you don’t have expectations to fail you), but he wouldn’t think for a single second to use his magic in front of him, the knights, even the king. This time, there was a high possibility he’d face this decision. Luckily, he decided long ago so what else? Maybe the knights will be able to handle it. Merlin shook his head. How much he hoped for it, but it was very unlikely. Maybe it’s not a trap. It was even more unlikely, the forest buzzing with magical energy. Merlin shot a worried glance at Arthur just to notice something in the bushes behind the prince.

„Arthur!” 

The whole group jumped at the voice and stared at the direction Merlin was pointing. Something clearly moved. It looked like a human in a long, white cloak, it’s face covered with the hood. It looked like a human, but when it started, it was much faster, than a human should have been. 

„Seize it!” shouted Arthur, and the group started to chase the white thing into the forest.

„Arthur. Something’s fishy,” huffed Merlin, trying to keep up with the prince. Before Arthur could reply, they found themselves surrounded with white fog, thickening every second.

„What the-” Arthur halted his horse, and looked beside him just to see Merlin disappearing in the fog.

„No!” He stretched out his arm and grabbed Blockhead’s reins, drawing their horses close to each other.

„Whoa, I can hardly see you and we’re this close.” Merlin turned around. „No wonder I can’t see the knights at all.”

„Sir Alric! Sir Cedric! Hello!” Arthur shouted, but they got no answer.

„Um, I guess we’ve just fell for the oldest trick and got separated,” said Merlin in a skeptical voice. Arthur growled angrily, but couldn’t argue.

„We should move,” he said, picking a direction and leaded his horse that way. He held on Blockheads reins strongly and made Merlin do the same. Losing the knights was bad enough, but losing Merlin… no, he certainly won’t lose Merlin. He might run off and offer his life for the sorcerer. Idiot.

„Arthur!”

„What again?” 

„Look, the fog is disappearing that way.”

„We should head there.”

„Are you sure? The sorcerer might want us to go there.”

„Then, we will finally face him. I’m fed up with this bloody fog.”

„Hm, you’re right. I wonder why he hasn’t killed us yet. Maybe he has worse in his mind.”

„Wow, thanks for the optimistic comment, Merlin. I feel a lot better now.”

„You said princes don’t get scared.”

„I’m not scared.”

„Well, you should be, Young Pendragon.” They both jumped as the low voice came from the clearing in front of them.


	2. Chapter 2

The fog encircled the clearing, and in the middle stood a man in a familiar white cloak. He was surely human this time. A druid. He didn't seem to attack immediately, so Arthur slid down from his horse and draw his sword slowly. Merlin mirrored his moves. They stepped on the clearing.

„I came here as the crown prince of Camelot to-”

„To burn me away for using magic, I know.” The druid sounded calm, even bored, but there was something indescribable in his eyes. „But you won’t. I guided you here on purpose.”

„And what that purpose might be?” 

Air started to circulate around the man, as he closed his eyes.

„Arthur…” Merlin felt his heart sink. It was meaning no good.

„You will learn, Arthur Pendragon, and so will your father.” The druid’s voice was much lower now, sounding like a roar, air turning stormy around him.

„Enough of this!” Arthur lifted his sword, but the moment he moved, the blade flew out of his hands, and so Merlin’s.

„Violence is the plague of Camelot. Swinging swords, burning innocent children.”

„Children?” Merlin’s voice was almost a whisper, but was heard. The man looked up at him.

„Uther took my son, so I take my revenge on his.” 

Merlin’s stomach flipped as he remembered the boy a week ago. He saw Arthur was feeling the same.

„You’re right. My life is in your hands, do what you want.” 

Merlin looked at the prince, eyes widened with horror. So much for the value of life.

„Oh, I would gladly take it, but I’m a druid. Our laws forbid taking a life out of revenge. Instead, I will make you learn.” He stretched out his hand, white light gathering in it.

„I will curse you! Curse you with the ignorance of your kind!” The druid shouted in a supernatural voice. Merlin knew this was his moment. A curse could do anything, many worse than death and he would not let Arthur take it, even if he deserved it, what he didn't. But how to stop a curse? The druid wasn't using incantations, so he couldn't identify the magic. There was hardly more time to think. With a roar, the man let the white light shoot at Arthur’s direction, so Merlin decided the more simple the better and prepared a barrier-like ball in his outstretched hand, moving his body in front of the prince’s.

Arthur was calm, accepting his fate (whatever it would be), until he saw Merlin’s body shielding his. His blood became ice. He only had a second to shout ’no’ before the white light collided with his manservant. There was no sound at first, only a huge, blinding ray of light. Then, a second later, intense wind came from the collision, sending the prince and several trees flying backwards, putting him down roughly on the ground. It stormed for ten seconds more and died out; leaving a chaos of leaves and tree branches behind.

***  
Arthur groaned and opened his eyes. He saw thousands of dancing lights. His head ached as his mind tried to recollect information. There was the druid… and a curse, a big white light… and… The breath stuck in him. Merlin. He remembered Merlin standing in the way of the curse, him shouting something and then… The little lights finally disappeared, Arthur sat up and looked around in horror. It was as if a tornado raged around the forest. He felt panic curling up in his throat. Where’s Merlin?

***

Last thing Merlin knew was that the curse reached him, but then he blacked out. Now, he was aching all over and felt like his chest’s going to explode with every breath. There was something on him, a tree branch, maybe? He eventually found the strength to open his eyes. It was dark. It’s night already? But as he tried to focus his eyes more, he noticed it wasn't just dark. It was pitch black. He fell in a hole? What happened? The realization hit him, making him choke. No. But before he could think about it any longer, a greater worry pushed everything behind. Where’s Arthur?

***  
Arthur struggled to his feet and looked at himself. He was a bit dizzy from the fall, but nothing serious. He started to scan his surroundings, afraid of what he might see.

„Merlin!” His voice was weak, almost trembling. 

„Merlin, can you hear me?” Better this time. „Merlin!”

Merlin sat up immediately. It’s his voice, it’s Arthur! But where? 

„Merlin!” 

He turned to what he thought the direction of the sound was.

„Arthur?” It wasn't as loud as he wanted, but enough for Arthur to turn around. He spotted the little blue spot and let out the breath he was holding.

„God, there you are! Why haven’t you said something? I was this close, couldn't you se-” Arthur froze mid-sentence. He was now only a few meters away from him, but Merlin still didn't look at him. His eyes were unfocused, moving fast, searching for the source of his voice. Arthur’s heart skipped a beat. And several others.

„Merlin?” He was now beside him, crouching down to look in his eyes. Still no focus.

„Arthur? Are you alright?” Merlin jumped slightly as Arthur’s voice was suddenly so close. He stretched out his hands and bumped into the prince’s chest. He grabbed his tunic.

„Are you alright?” He asked again, but no answer came.

„Arthur, are you-”

„You can’t see,” the prince said, sounding distant. Merlin flinched.

„No. I guess I can’t. But you haven’t answered me yet.”

„Merlin, you can’t see.” Arthur was clearly too distracted to give a reply, so Merlin decided to check things out on his own. When it came to dealing with problems him not seeing was definitely not the top of the list.

Arthur watched stunned as Merlin’s fingers started to run across his chest, then squeezing his arms, scanning him all over. It took him some minutes to figure out what they were looking for. He frowned and caught the hands.

„Merlin, I’m fine.”

„Oh, and is it the ’I’m a knight, bruises and cuts are nothing’ fine, or the one common people use?”

„Stop freaking out about me! It’s you who can’t see.”

„Stop repeating yourself, it makes you look stupid.”

„Merlin would you take it seriously please?”

„No. I would not.” It finally sank in. Arthur felt the guilt prodding his guts. Merlin was in a shock. He was trembling, his voice had an edge of panic. Not surprising from someone who've just lost his eyesight. Arguing with him now was not the best thing to do. He squeezed the hand which still was in his.

„Okay. It’s okay. I’m really alright. How about you? Any injuries?” 

Merlin was surprised at the sudden gentleness in the prince’s voice.

„Um, I don’t know. I think a branch fell on me if that’s possible.”

„Of course it’s possible. After that tornado-like wind.”

„What?”

„You don’t remember?”

„The last thing I remember is the light reaching me.”

„Well, there was a kind of an explosion after that. It wrecked the forest completely.”

„Oh…”

A branch really hit him hard, Arthur could see its shape on Merlin’s pale skin, as a big, nasty-looking deep purple bruise, covering almost entirely his chest. 

„God…”

„What?”

„It looks awful.”

„Thanks for the compliment.”

„This needs treating. We have to get back. Can you stand?”

„Of course.” Merlin tried to sound confident, but his struggle betrayed him. With Arthur’s help and after quite a long time, he was standing.

„Now, where could the horses be?” 

He whistled and shouted, but Blockhead and Knight (Arthur’s genius naming again) were nowhere close.

„They might have gone home.”

„Yeah. Then, we have to walk I guess. Can you?”

„Erm, are you asking about the bruise or… because it doesn't hurt that much, but…” But I can’t see what’s in front of me so you have to guide me. 

„I get it. Give me your hand.” 

Merlin let out a relieved sigh as their hands contacted again. Standing in darkness was starting to stress him out. With Arthur’s hand holding his, he felt much better. Safe.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur was watching his servant for a while now and he got more worried in every second. Since they had stopped to rest, Merlin was nervously shifting and had little jumps randomly. Arthur couldn’t imagine what could be the cause of his attitude, but could guess it had something to do with blindness, so tried hard not to mention it. After watching Merlin for long minutes, his determination started to weaken. This is ridiculous. Maybe this was the right time to talk about it.

„Merlin?” The prince gasped as the boy jumped almost meter high at his name.

„Oh, ah, y-yes? What is it?”

„What’s the matter?”

„Matter? Nothing.”

„Don’t lie to me. You look like you’re going to jump up and run away screaming.”

„Ah, well, that’s not quite possible right now, you don’t have to worry.”

„Merlin.” Despite of not seeing Arthur’s face, he knew exactly what kind of expression it held. It was clear that Merlin couldn’t handle this thing alone. He let out a heavy sigh.

„It’s… it’s really noisy. My ears seem to try and work as my eyes, I can hear so many voices, but I can’t tell the distance between me and them, and it doesn’t matter how hard I’m trying to see it’s just useless. I guess I’m scared a bit…” His voice trailed off. Arthur stared with surprise. He couldn’t hear anything more than the usual buzzing of the forest, nothing alarming, nothing too loud.

„I can’t even tell where you are,” Merlin added quietly, trying not to give his feelings away, as this was the most disturbing part of all. Obviously they let go when Arthur set up their camp (which was a little fire) and he was too embarrassed to ask the prince to hold his hand again, as it was not necessary while they were sitting.

Arthur looked up annoyed when he understood the meaning of the comment.

„You should have told me immediately, idiot,” he said as he moved to sit tightly beside Merlin, so their sides met. He felt Merlin tightening in surprise, but then leaning on him gratefully. His breathing slowed down and took up Arthur’s pace. The prince himself felt more comfortable too.

„So, what happened exactly back there?” asked Merlin shyly. Although Arthur hasn’t mentioned anything yet, he feared that he might have seen his magic.

„Well, a druid attacked us, as he had a right to, and I was about to accept his punishment, as I am the crown prince, so any consequences should fall on me, when you decided to butt in as always. It doesn’t matter how many times I lecture you, next time you’ll do the same again. Really, Merlin, I should lock you up so you can’t damage yourself.” At least nothing about him being a sorcerer, thought Merlin sourly before striking back.

„You’re not to talk either. ’My life is in your hands, do what you want’, seriously?”

„My father killed his son, Merlin. His revenge was righteous. I have my responsibilities as a son.”

„And have you thought of your people in Camelot? Don’t you have responsibilities as their prince? Or have you thought of your friends, waiting for you to return? Or me, standing beside you? You would make me watch you getting killed or worse?”

„That applies to you too! God, you’re so skinny and have no ability of self-defense, yet you keep throwing yourself between me and brutal attacks. You have no right to lecture me this time. You’re blind because you protected me!”

„Yeah, you’re welcome.”

„I’m not happy about it, Merlin! Your loyalty is moving, really, but I feel so guilty! I should have paid more attention; I should have prevented this, I… I just want you to be okay, can’t you understand?” In the wave of frustration Arthur let more words slip than he intended to and was now very grateful that Merlin couldn’t see him blush massively.

Sarcasm and annoyance vanished from Merlin entirely. Of course he knew Arthur cared for him (he risked his life for him quite a lot), but he would never admit it before, not with a word. He must be embarrassed to the end. Merlin cursed his bad luck that it happens when he can’t see. But maybe that’s exactly why it happened. Still, Merlin didn’t have the heart to start joking around.

„I get it. I’m sorry, okay?” he said gently. Arthur huffed.

„Guess you can’t promise me you won’t do something like this again.”

„I can, but it would be a lie.”

„Since when you are so cheeky?”

„Since the beginning.”

„Ah, you’re right.” 

They fell in silence for some minutes.

„So, what’s with this curse? I mean, it must be the cause of your blindness.”

„Mm, I don’t know. There was that flash of light… but I don’t remember looking into it, so it might be the curse after all.”

„What did the druid say?”

„’I curse you with the ignorance of your kind’.”

„Ignorance?” 

They both glared.

„Hah, how apposite!” Arthur said sarcasm dripping from his words. „But if it’s a curse, there’s a way to lift it, isn't there?”

„I don’t know. Maybe. Gaius knows more about curses and stuff; he might be able to help.” Merlin wasn’t lying. He only knew that curses, unlike magic, can’t be lifted with the death of the incantater. Not to mention, he had no idea what effect his defensive magic might had on the original curse, if it had any. He hoped strongly that Gaius would have answers.

„You’re right. Unfortunately, we have to get back first. I wonder where my knights are. If we’re lucky, they will find us on the way.”

„Like we were so lucky up until now.”

„Again, thanks for the optimism. We’re still alive, aren’t we?”

„Yeah…”

„Well, then, let’s rest. It’s getting dark.” 

Merlin literally froze. He imagined sleeping in this new, dark and scary world with voices loud as roars from thousand lions and his mind jerked in fear to the thought. Arthur’s worried voice came from the distance.

„What?” No reply. „Merlin, what is it?”

„I-eh… I…” There was no way Merlin could ask Arthur to hold his hand while sleeping. He wasn’t even sure it would help. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. He didn’t know what to say, but Arthur could somehow read his mind.

„Hey, calm down. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” 

Since when could Arthur read him so easily? Wasn’t it always the other way around? He didn’t realize how really close they grew so far.

„Come,” said Arthur, pulling him down into a lying position, in which he settled himself in already. He made sure their shoulders meet. When he felt Merlin was still a bit tense, he searched for his hand and squeezed it sheepishly.

„I’m here,” he said quietly. Merlin closed his eyes and locked his fingers around Arthur’s. Minutes later they were both sleeping soundly.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur’s hopes turned out to be reasonable; the knights found them the next day. Merlin’s blindness came handy this time, as he could hear horses rattling from far away so they could find the road and the anxious group of men. It took them time to calm down and stop asking question after question. 

Merlin was a bit afraid of meeting them, because he thought Arthur would let go immediately, being too embarrassed to hold hands with a servant (a blind servant) in front of his knights, but surprisingly enough, he didn’t. He explained them what happened while holding his hand so casually as it was nothing. Merlin could only guess what kind of expression might be on the knights’ face at the scene.

As for the group, Sir Alric told, that they were too separated by the fog from each other, until a strong wind came and washed it away. They lingered around the forest and managed to gather the troop, then started to look for the prince and Merlin, but could only find their horses, in a frantic state of mind. They didn’t go back to the city, they spent the night searching. Arthur realized how far they got from the road, no wonder his knights couldn’t find them.

„I’m glad you are alright. Thank you for your hard work. Now, we should hurry back to the castle.” 

It was a good thing that the horses were fine too. Merlin patted Blockhead’s neck with affection. The black steed was Arthur’s present for him (he said its colour suited him, making clear he’s referring to his mental affliction) and he grew attached to it. Merlin searched for the saddle and the reins diffidently, to sit on the horse. It was as if Blockhead understood his situation completely, it stood much more still than it used to, gently lowering its head down to make it easier for Merlin to find the reins. Merlin wondered if animals were really underestimated. 

His first try ended in a moan of pain, which made Arthur flew to his side in an instant. Merlin’s chest was accustomed to walking, but when the boy wanted to make more complicated movements (like jumping on a horse), it burnt and ached in disapproval. Merlin hissed as Arthur pushed him up as gently as he could. The prince cursed. He almost forgot that damned bruise.

When Merlin was finally on Blockhead’s back, he felt stupid. How could he guide the horse? All he was able to do is to stand there and wait for Arthur to come and help him. This reminded him a question he refused to think of so far. What if the curse cannot be lifted? What can a blind servant do? Or a blind sorcerer? His stomach flipped unpleasantly. How will he protect Arthur if he can’t use magic? Merlin’s heart sank. So many times he had been told he’s useless. It was totally true this time.

Arthur hurried to get on his horse, not wanting to leave Merlin for too long. Judging his friend’s face, he was already very late when he took Blockhead’s reins. Merlin looked like if he’s about to break into little pieces, it was far more worse than in the forest and Arthur couldn’t guess what made the difference.

„Hey, are you alright?”

„Yeah. Fine.” 

Merlin was silent since they met with the knights, clearly uncomfortable about not knowing which way to turn to speak. He was lying obviously, but Arthur decided not forcing it. They’d better hurry back and find a way to lift this curse quickly.

***

„For heaven’s sake, Merlin, what happened?” was Gaius’s first words to him. He figured it wasn’t the last shock he would cause. 

„We’ll explain everything Gaius, but first of all, please have a look at this,” said Arthur, who hadn’t let his hand go since they stepped in the castle, and pulled up his shirt. Gaius let out a groan-like sound.

„Come, sit here.” 

Merlin heard the clanking of bottles and then felt the physician’s hand on his chest. He hissed.

„This looks nasty. I have a balm to ease the pain, but I will have to prepare something else to help it fade away.”

The balm felt cool, but rubbing it in wasn’t a pleasure. Merlin didn’t want to groan, because it would make Gaius feel bad, so he pressed his lips together and squeezed Arthur’s hand.

„Almost done, Merlin. Just a bit more,” murmured the prince. He blushed as his eyes met with Gaius’s curious look.

„Done. Now, tell me about the… other thing please,” he said more demanding than asking.

„We found the druid,” started Arthur „but he managed to separate us from the knights. He guided us to a clearing and revealed the fact that he was the father of the young boy who died a week ago.” Gaius flinched at the memory. „And he demanded revenge which I was willing to give him. He said he couldn’t kill me because of their law, but would make me ’learn’. He prepared a curse and shot it at me.”

„Let me guess. Merlin blocked its way with his body.” Gaius’ voice was sharp as a blade.

„Yes. And I’ve already lectured him about it,” Arthur added quickly when he saw Gaius was about to speak and Merlin’s shoulders fell. The old man huffed.

„Excuse me, sire, but you two really deserve each other. Always getting into trouble, sacrificing yourselves, can’t you be careful just once, for God’s sake!” 

Both Merlin and Arthur lowered their heads, like children who did something nasty. It was rare for Gaius to fume like that, but none of them could argue with him.

„Sorry for intruding,” a polite voice cut the physician’s scolding, a knight stood at the door. „The king asked for Prince Arthur to make an appearance in the throne room and report to His Majesty.”

„Of course. Tell him I’m on my way.” Arthur didn’t even try to hide his listlessness.

Merlin couldn’t help letting out a silent gasp. He knew he was being ridiculous. He had Gaius by his side now, why would Arthur have to stay. He would never admit how the prince’s presence was different than any other. How it made him feel totally safe. How it put his mind at ease. How it made him whole. Without his eyesight the effect doubled.

And again, Arthur knew exactly what he was thinking. This was getting scary.

„I’ll be back as soon as possible, okay?” 

Merlin just nodded, afraid of what his voices might give away if he speaks.

Arthur literally tore himself away from Merlin, his hand refusing to obey him properly. He glanced back from the door and he saw Merlin looking (well, trying to look) his way. And again, he met with Gaius’s embarrassing glare so he forced himself to walk on.

„Now, Merlin, tell me everything about this curse,” said Gaius as soon as the prince was out of the room.

***  
Once again, Merlin felt stupid and useless. He sat; slowly chewing the bread he was given. Gaius was already busy researching; he heard big thuds of heavy books and quick brushes of pages. Unequivocally he wasn’t able to help.

„So you used a simple barrier-magic?”

„Yes.”

„But a ball-sized one.”

„I didn’t have time to expand it. I hoped the curse would bump off.”

„Mmm…” Gaius sank back into his books.

Merlin leaned back and closed his eyes. It was better since not seeing with your eyes closed was a much more natural thing than not seeing at all. I wonder how Arthur is. He was a bit worried about Uther’s reaction when he finds out, he won’t have the sorcerer’s head on the dining table. 

Lately, conversations with his father made Arthur feel upset. Their differences started to show intensely and the prince surely wasn’t the type of remaining in silence when he had objections. Luckily, he always had Merlin to joke the whole thing off when they went back to his chambers, easing the tension in a minute. It was like magic. But not this time. Arthur’s jaws clenched tightly together while his father held out his usual lecture about his son’s incompetence, about how extremely dangerous sorcery was and how is it utterly shameful that he’d let the druid flee. The prince remained silent this time, making Uther think he finally made him respect his words. If he knew how wrong he was. The only thing Arthur could think about was to get out quickly and hurry back to Merlin as promised.

„…I hope you understand now.”

„Yes, father. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

„Very well. You’re dismissed.” said Uther.

As soon as he was behind his back, Arthur frowned.

„And Arthur?” 

The prince almost growled.

„Yes, father?”

„You should change.”

Arthur had to admit, he had a point. His clothes were dirty and smelled. Fine, he would change, but then he would go straight to Gaius’s chamber. He bowed his head and rushed out of the great, wooden door.


	5. Chapter 5

„Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry for you.” Gwen put her hand on his arm.

„It’s okay. Gaius will find a way to lift it.” Merlin tried to smile reassuringly, but doubted his success.

„Speaking of which, Gaius, do you need help?” 

Gaius bustled with books for an hour now, mumbling to himself. He looked up at his name, disorientated.

„Can I help you?” asked Gwen again.

„Oh, yes, yes my child, thank you. Please scan through these.” 

A heavy thud. Gwen left Merlin’s side, he heard her dress rustling and then settling near the physician (well, near the spot from where his voice came from). The room fell in silence.

„Then, I guess I’m no help so I’ll take a walk.” He felt glares on his face.

„Or not.” He leaned back. 

Minutes passed slowly, Merlin felt, he would go mad if this continues. Suddenly, he heard steps from the corridor. Someone’s coming. He straightened up immediately. Before Gaius or Gwen could ask anything, the door swung open.

„I’m back.”

„Arthur!” Merlin literally jumped to his feet and stepped forward hastily, just to tumble across another chair in front of him.

„Hey-hey, watch out!” 

Before Merlin could fall, a strong hand gripped his arm, pulling him up.

„Oh, I didn’t see…”

„Yeah, I figured that.” 

Merlin was sure his cheeks burned red. He heard Gaius standing up.

„Would you be so kind, sire, and take out Merlin for a walk? We have quite a lot reading to be done.”

„Of course. What do you say, Merlin? Wanna take a walk? Yes?” Arthur said in the voice he used when talking to his dogs.

„Only a prat would make fun of a blind man,” said Merlin, acting sulky, but the ends of his mouth turned up. Arthur felt relieved seeing that. This time, he was the one to ease the tension.

„Come, you whining lady.”

Holding hands again was like getting back one of his limbs for Merlin. He didn’t even care where they were going, until he felt grass and not stone under his feet.

„Arthur, where are we going?”

„You will see.”

„No I won’t.”

„Patience, Merlin.”

„What’s that?”

„Oh, I’m not surprised you don’t know.”

Merlin listened. The sounds of the castle were definitely there, but distant. He heard birds around them, but no sound of trees.

„Here we are,” Arthur said pleased with himself.

„Erm, here?”

„This is my mother’s garden.”

„What? You never told me she had one!”

„You never asked.”

„But how?”

„I have servants to take care of it. It’s quite pretty. My mother had a good sense for flowers and plants.”

„I’m sure she had. I wish I could see it.”

„You can, Merlin, that’s the whole point.”

„I don’t get it.”

„No wonder, blockhead. I show you, sit down here.” 

It was a bench. Merlin brushed his fingers across it’s material. It was wooden, soft and glossy. Merlin imagined it’s colour as bright honey. He heard Arthur bustling with something. Two minutes later he was sitting beside him on the bench.

„Now, stretch out your hand.” 

Merlin did. Arthur put a flower in it.

„The first one is a white lily. It doesn’t smell that nice, but the shape is quite pretty.” And so Merlin found out by feeling and smelling the flower.

„Here, it’s a-”

„Narcissus,” Merlin blurted out as soon as it was in his hands.

„Wow, Merlin, I didn’t imagine you to be a flower-frenzy.”

„It’s my mother’s favorite.” he said, lifting the narcissus to his face.

„Oh…” Arthur trailed off „They say my mother liked all flowers but her favorite was rosehip. She said that it was because the pretty little flowers and the delicious berries. They say she always ate them secretly while listening to boring discussions in the throne room,” he said, sounding lost in his imagination.

„Just like you. It’s always a struggle to get your little snacks in when there’s a long negotiation.”

„Yeah…”

„She must have been a fascinating woman.”

„She was my mother, that tells a lot.” Arthur’s voice was back now.

„Prat.”

„Come, here’s another one.”

„Whoa, what a scent!”

And it went on like this for an hour or so. Merlin had to admit, that this idea was genius. He could see Lady Igraine’s garden in a way only a blind man could. Without realizing, the dark thoughts disappeared from him (at least for now) and he was having fun.

Arthur noticed the change too, of course. When Merlin finally let out a smile, he felt a stone lifting up from his heart. Besides, there was something about the spectacle of his manservant surrounded by flowers, which made him shiver, but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He took up a little daisy and placed it behind Merlin’s ear.

„Hey, what are you doing?”

„I was just curious how it would look.”

„And?”

„Stupid.” 

Merlin touched the flower.

„It’s a?”

„Daisy.”

„Hm.”

„What? You don’t like it?”

„It’s not my favorite.”

„Oh, then what is your favorite?”

„You will laugh.”

„No, I won’t. Well, maybe.”

„It’s the sunflower.” 

Arthur turned to look at Merlin, totally amused. How fitting! He couldn’t think of anything better.

„What? No laughing?”

„I just thought that it suited you perfectly.” He paused. He saw Merlin skip a beat, so he quickly added: „You know, it’s tall and slim and have a biiig head…”

„Okay-okay, I get it! Why don’t you tell me your favorite?”

„Oh, no. You will laugh.”

„You’re such a girl.”

„Hey, stop stealing my lines! Fine, I like the dandelion.” 

Merlin pressed back a chuckle. Arthur was so much like a child sometimes.

„The dandelion?”

„Yeah, it reminds me of my childhood. Me and Morgana played with dandelions a lot. It’s pretty when it flies in the air.” 

Merlin closed his eyes, smiling. He imagined the child Arthur in a meadow, chasing after white dandelions in the air. This time, he couldn’t cut back the chuckle.

„See? You laughed.”

„No, I just thought that it suited you perfectly too.”

Merlin couldn’t tell how long they sat there. He wished they could stay forever. When they finally stood and slowly started to stroll back, it was like going back to reality from a dream. Merlin felt his heart sink with every step. Before all of it would be gone, he stopped for a moment.

„Arthur?”

„Yes?”

„Thank you.”

„Um, it’s really nothing.” he felt the prince shifting his weight. „Come on, let’s go back.”

„Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin was literally sick. Sick of blindness, sick of usefulness, sick of hearing Gaius say ’I haven’t find the solution yet, but cheer up, I still haven’t give up’. Of course he hadn’t. But Merlin was no fool. He could hear the physician’s voice losing a little bit if it’s hope every time. It was almost a week now. Arthur had responsibilities, but came to him as often as he could. Those few hours kept Merlin together. It was like a ray of light entering his dark world. But it would disappear constantly. In the hours Merlin called his ’dark’ ones, he mostly lingered around his chamber, trying every possible incantation on himself. In the last two days he just sat on his bed, his knees pulled up, his head buried in his arms. The darkness was slowly sucking him in. The only thing he was happy about, that it’s not Arthur who’s suffering through this. A blind servant was one thing, a blind prince on the other hand… Merlin shivered at the thought and pressed his forehead to his arms with more force.

Every morning was a disappointment for Arthur. Every time the door opened he waited for Merlin’s goofy smile, every time he turned with hope, failing every time. Unlike himself, he growled at any servant who came to deliver his breakfast. Since when was Merlin such an elemental part of his every days? Of course he considered him as a friend, but he felt that somehow, it wasn’t merely that. With Merlin, he wasn’t Prince Arthur, just Arthur. With him he felt he could breathe freely. He felt whole. He snatched every opening, every hour, even minute, to visit Merlin. He felt, if he didn’t, Merlin would just disappear. He was fading so fast. The prince could see it, although he tried to put up a facade for him. Arthur wished he’d speak to him. About his sorrow, fear, anything to make him feel better. Today he stole the whole afternoon, telling his father he’d go training and his knights he’d be with his father. 

He stepped in Gaius’s chamber, nodding to the physician, who was obsessed with reading. He sighed and prepared himself for the usual ’I’m fine’ play, as he knocked and entered Merlin’s room. The scenery welcoming him shook Arthur deeply. Usually, Merlin heard his steps when he was only at the corridor and greeted him with a rashly made, weak smile. This time, he didn’t even seem to recognize his presence. He was sitting on his bed, legs pulled up, arms wrapped tightly around his head, rocking slowly back and forth. Even from this distance, Arthur could see him trembling. He felt worry rushing all over him as he closed the door silently.

„Merlin?” he asked quietly. No answer came.

„Merlin?” he put his hand on his arm. Merlin’s head jerked up.

„Arthur?” he asked, glancing around.

„Here, I’m here.” He sat on the bed, making their legs meet.

„Oh…” Merlin was clearly not in the condition of starting a conversation. Really, he was in no condition of doing anything.

„Hey, what’s wrong?”

Merlin wanted to look up and frown, but realized he can’t ’look up’.

„Merlin, please. Tell me.” Arthur sounded worried, his voice was low, almost a murmur. It made his defense crack and fall down. The thing only Arthur could do.

„Gaius won’t find it,” he whispered.

„Don’t say this. He will.”

„No, and he will go mad trying.” 

Arthur had to admit the point, remembering the physician’s attitude lately.

„What will I do? I can’t be your servant anymore.”

„What are you talking about? I’m not absolving you of your duties.”

„Arthur…”

„No. You will learn how to live with it. You will manage.”

„I won’t be able to face danger with you.”

„Sorry to say so, but even seeing, you weren’t much of a combatant.”

„You don’t understand. I won’t be able to protect you.”

„Merlin, it’s not your duty to-”

„Yes it is.”

„Please, we will figure out something, okay?” 

It moved Merlin how desperately he tried to cheer him up. He slid closer to him. One positive thing about blindness was that it made walls crumble down between them. They grew accustomed to touches. What would have been impossible and embarrassing to death with Merlin seeing, was now natural. Like Merlin touching Arthur’s face when he was eager to find out if he was frowning or not, or Arthur holding his hand, or sitting so close that it was almost a hug. He bumped his head into the prince’s chest.

„I won’t be able to see your face,” he said, quieter than a whisper.

„Yes, you can,” Arthur said under his breath. He lifted Merlin’s hand and placed it on his face. The boy lifted his head, slowly following the line of Arthur’s cheek with his fingers.

„It’s not the same.”

„No, it’s better.”

Merlin felt Arthur’s breath on his cheek. He let out a little gasp as the prince’s hand touched his face. For the entire time it was this moment he was the most eager to see. Their lips melted together perfectly, for a light kiss. Merlin felt tension spreading out of him, whooshing away like a wind blow. It brought out forced back tears and he let out a sob as they parted. Arthur pushed their foreheads together gently, hands still holding his face. Merlin felt tears running down his cheek, unstoppable, as if he was letting out everything since the point he opened his eyes but couldn’t see. His head slid down to Arthur’s shoulder, who embraced him tightly. They stayed like this until Merlin’s sobs faded away.

Arthur pressed his lips to Merlin’s forehead.

„It’s better now, isn’t it?”

„Ah, don’t be so proud of yourself,” his voice was weak, but Merlin was markedly better.

„But you’re right. I can see you now,” he said, eyes closed and smiling, his hand on Arthur’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.

„Who would think that you’re actually sentimental, Merlin:”

„Oh, shut up.” Out of habit, Merlin opened his eyes to frown. He almost fell off the bed.

„What are you doing? God, how can you be so clumsy?” Arthur gasped, surprised by the sudden movement.

„A-arthur, I see you!”

„And so you told me, and I’ve already had my remark, you know.”

„No! I really, really see you!” Merlin had to narrow his eyes, as there was too much light after the long darkness. Arthur froze.

„What?! Look at me!” he said cupping Merlin’s face in his hands once again. He blinked, and looked into his eyes, focusing all well.

„It’s impossible! What happened?”

„I don’t know!”

„Gaius! Gaius come in here! NOW!” Arthur shouted like an idiot. The physician rushed into the room.

„What is it? Someone is injured?”

„No, but look!” 

Gaius almost had a heart attack.

„What the HELL? What have you two done?” 

Two mentioned turned into bright red.

„N-nothing, really,” Merlin tried to explain „We just… I just said ’I can see you’ and when I opened my eyes, I could.” As he spoke, it sank in. He must have lifted the curse on his own. At that time he really believed he could see Arthur. Well, not with his eyes, but… his magic took care of the rest. He shot a glance at Gaius. The old man stared back at him, catching the information but not believing it.

„This, this… you only had to say it?” Arthur said frustrated.

„No, I think that’s not that simple. I had to see you.” 

Arthur stared him in disbelief.

„And you did?”

„I don’t know. Maybe.”

„Maybe? Merlin, I hope you feel too that this is not an acceptable explanation.”

„Ehm, well” Gaius finally found his voice and hurried to make up a theory to aid Merlin before things go out under control „I read that curses special in a way they are made personally to someone. If they fall not on this particular person, they might weaken or even fade away with time. And as the curse wasn’t for Merlin, maybe it has just wearied off.”

„Maybe?”

„Sorcery is not like science, sire. There’s no exact explanation, just guessing.”

Merlin saw Arthur would take his time congesting this, but he couldn’t care less at that moment. He just kept staring his prince, the colour of his hair, the line of his jaws, everything. Arthur caught his glare.

„I know I’m dazzling, but would you stop staring me?”

„No.”

„Merlin, you’re cheeky again.”

„What’s that?”

„Oh, just you wait, I’ll make it vanish from you. Do you have any idea how much work piled up while you were whining around?”

„Whining around? I was blind.”

„But you’re not now. You can see me, can’t you?”

„Yes. I can see you.”

„Lucky you.”

„Prat.”


	7. Epilogue

„Wow, this is beautiful.”

„Yeah. I had some changes. Look at there.”

„Wha- Arthur!”

„What? You don’t like it?”

„It’s not that! But is it okay?”

„Of course. Besides, I came to like them.” Arthur brushed the little sunflowers with his hands.

„But it’s your mother’s garden.”

„I’m sure she’d like them too.”

„You’re such a romantic.” Arthur chuckled.

„Am I? Who put dandelions on my table yesterday?”

„Dunno. Some idiot I guess.”

„Surely some idiot.” He picked one of the sunflowers and lifted it to Merlin’s face. „You know, it really suits you perfectly.”

„Uh-oh, a compliment, I wonder what the price will be.”

„Oh, try and guess,” grinned Arthur as he leaned to kiss him.

„Such a prat,” mumbled Merlin before they melted into one.


End file.
